


Dean Winchester fucking hates witches

by DeansxCas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apples, Castiel Saves the Day (Supernatural), Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cursed Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Hates Witches, Dean turns into a fruit, Gen, Hurt Dean Winchester, Injured Dean Winchester, Other, Sam Winchester is So Done, no like seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:14:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29531106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeansxCas/pseuds/DeansxCas
Summary: Sam and Dean come back from a hunt which has resulted in Dean getting cursed. While Sam goes out to research, Dean stays behind at the motel where he starts to experience some weird symptoms. Sam is in for quite a shock when he returns...or: where Dean get's cursed and gets eaten - and not in the good way
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Dean Winchester fucking hates witches

“Son of a bitch.” Dean grumbled as barged into the motel room. “Hate witches.” Sam sighed and followed in behind him. “Now’s not the time for complaining, Dean, we need to figure out what the hell she did to you.” The older Winchester mumbled under his breath for a second longer before nodding in agreement. “Fine, why don’t you go down to the library we drove past on the way here while I,” He flopped down onto one of the motel beds, “Get some well-deserved nap time.” He finished with a grin. Sam rolled his eyes but just accepted that his brother probably wasn’t going to be much help, plus, doing some research at that library -without the distraction of Dean’s snoring- could be useful. “Fine,” he started, “but if you need me or if something happens, you call me.” Dean didn’t respond, just waved him off as he closed his eyes. “Good talk.” The younger one said before grabbing the keys to the impala and walking out the door.

***

Dean was woken up about an hour later by the feeling that he was going to throw up. He shot up and ran straight to the bathroom, hand over his mouth. When he was finally over the toilet bowl, he removed his hands and started vomiting uncontrollably. He had to have been blowing chunks for at least a few minutes. When his body finally calmed down, he wiped his mouth with his hand and then froze. Usually when he threw up, it tasted like ass and cheap alcohol, but all he could taste now was pure apple. It tasted like he just drank a whole pint of apple juice. Maybe he was having a stroke, instead of smelling toast he was tasting apples. Before he could have another thought, he suddenly got a major pain in his head. Worse than any normal headache he’d get, those he could handle but this… He groaned and stumbled out of the bathroom; he didn’t get very far before he collapsed against a wall. Dean grabbed his phone from his pocket, brining up Sam’s contact. He slowly typed up a message that read. ‘head hurt. bring meds on way back.’ Before Dean could hit send though, he dropped his phone in complete shock. His fingers were – his fingers were green. “What the hell?” He shouted to himself. He looked down at the rest of his body and that was turning green too. And was he getting shorter? “Great, I’m turning into a green Smurf.” Along with being green, his skin was also shiny and felt different. And the smell and taste of apples was now stronger, and he continued to shrink – he was about to shout out for help when –

***

It was a few hours later and Sam was back from the library, the research he did there was a bust, but he did find a few promising looking books that he’d get onto tonight. One arm full of books, he unlocked to motel room with the other. He threw the books onto his bed when he noticed that Dean wasn’t in the other – he wasn’t... anywhere. “Dean?” Sam called, thinking his brother was in the bathroom. No response. He went over to the bathroom to find it empty. Huh. “Did that idiot really go out to a bar after getting cursed by a witch?” he muttered, shaking his head. He decided to try calling him, but he realized that Dean left his phone in the motel room – the sound of Dean’s AC/DC ringtone was coming from the floor. He bent down to pick up the phone and threw it onto Dean’s bed.

“Where the hell is, he?” He thought aloud. It was then that his stomach decided to growl. “Knew I should have gotten something to eat.” He sighed and looked around the room, seeing if they had any snack bars lying around for whatever reason. It was then that his eyes landed on a shiny green apple, just around where Dean’s phone lied. “Huh.” Sam picked up the apple and examined it. “Looks good.” He brought it to the bathroom sink and rinsed it off, looking thoughtfully at it again before taking a large bite. The flavor completely took over his taste buds, the apple was juicy and sweet, with this hint of bitterness that he couldn’t really describe… He was about to take another when he heard the swoop of wings.

“Hello, Sam.” Came the gravelly voice of the trenchcoated angel. He turned to look at his friend. “Hey, Cas, what are you doing here? And do you know where Dean is?” Castiel was going to say something when his attention went to the apple, the apple with a huge bite taken from it. His blue eyes widened before saying, “Well about a quarter of him is on your stomach.”

Sam took a moment to process, his eyes going from the apple to Cas, and then Dean’s abandoned phone on the bed. He let out a laugh. “Y-you’re kidding right? This – this apple is Dean?” Cas nodded thoughtfully, a disturbed look on his face. “So, you’re telling me I just ate a chunk of my brother?” Again, another nod. “Sam, it was the witches curse, I came here to help reverse it but you just – ““Hey, it wasn’t my fault, how was I supposed to know it was Dean?!” “So, you go around eating random apples you find next to your brothers’ phone while said brother is nowhere to be seen?!” “Well I- What do we do?!”

“Well I guess we try to bring him back like this and hope he isn’t missing an arm or a leg.” Sam looked at Cas and saw that he was dead serious. “Alright…”

It took a while, but they found a spell that would do the job. Cas recited it while Sam gathered the ingredients. Once they had finished, they waited hopefully… “Son of a BITCH.” They heard. Dean was back… they turned to look at him – his face showed discomfort and - oh my god. There was a huge chunk missing from his torso. Cas rushed over to him and used some of his grace, fixing him as best he could so there wasn't a massive hole through the side of him, Sam sighed. Dean stood and walked over to his brother. “Dean, hey... you’re ba-“ Sam was interrupted by Dean’s fist in his face, knocking him out cold.

“That’s for eating me, bitch.”

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I know this is far from good but I wrote this really quickly as a joke and I've done no editing whatsoever - but I was told to post this so uh.


End file.
